Monday, February 19, 2018

All the Lights in the Sky are Wizards

Fun and helpful fact: if you ever need a good name for a wizard, use the proper name of a real-world star. All that Arabic / Greek / Latin / occasional Chinese really comes in handy for something impressive and ancient sounding.

But since the Wikipdia article doesn't have numbers or fun wizard traits, I added those.

366 Wizards

 

  1. Acamar

Actually an awakened fetus.

  1. Achernar

Trepanned.

  1. Achird

Only eats white rice.

  1. Acrab

Oversees massive pornography library.

  1. Acrux

A gigantic ferret, no one questions it.

  1. Acubens

Sleeps on a bed of roses.

  1. Adhafera

Coelacanth hat.

  1. Adhara

Wears two hats.

  1. Adhil

Wears three hats.

  1. Ain

Wears nothing but hats.

  1. Ainalrami

Basilisk-hide slippers.

  1. Aladfar

Collects statues of muscular women.

  1. Alamak

Has been sleepwalking for the last 40 years.

  1. Alathfar

Aging heavy metal fan.

  1. Albaldah

Beloved pet: giant salamander.

  1. Albali

Skilled impressionist painter.

  1. Albireo

Convincing dementia act.

  1. Alchiba

Successfully became own grandpa.

  1. Alcor

Lives inside giant geode.

  1. Alcyone

Really good at crochet.

  1. Aldebaran

Has NOTHING to do with that demon attack.

  1. Alderamin

Owns alchemical micro-brewery.

  1. Aldhanab

Competitive sturgeon-breeder.

  1. Aldhibah

Far too into taxidermy for this skill level.

  1. Aldulfin

Unhealthy obsession with watermelons.

  1. Alfirk

Best damn barbecue in the world.

  1. Algedi

Child of a miner and a whore; proud of it.

  1. Algenib

Has kept silver spoon in mouth since birth.

  1. Algieba

Freakishly punctual, expects others to be so.

  1. Algol

Three-foot-long fingernails.

  1. Algorab

Has wooden eyes.

  1. Alhena

Enthusiastic jogger.

  1. Alioth

Cobwebs in eyebrows.

  1. Aljanah

Loves the ocean, cannot swim.

  1. Alkaid

Never removes iron-shod gloves.

  1. Al Kalb al Rai

Way too many bird feeders.

  1. Alkalurops

Mysterious number tattooed on forehead.

  1. Alkaphrah

Wears clothes three sizes too big.

  1. Alkarab

Everything is yellow.

  1. Alkes

Secretly a woman.

  1. Al Kurud

Secretly a man.

  1. Almaaz

Eats gunpowder for breakfast.

  1. Almach

Excessive sunflower seed consumption.

  1. Al Minliar al Asad

Loves the smell of industrial smog.

  1. Alnair

Often found at curry stands late at night.

  1. Alnasl

Hair just gets everywhere, it’s gross.

  1. Alnilam

Seeking to destroy the Influence Machine.

  1. Alnitak

Doesn’t actually have anything better to do.

  1. Alniyat

Lost their wallet.

  1. Alphard

Breeds square cows and rectangular sheep

  1. Alphecca

Spies on all their friends’ business.

  1. Alpheratz

Immense, hairy ears.

  1. Alrakis

Has rather silly ideas about anthropology.

  1. Alrescha

Can never find matching socks.

  1. Alsafi

Impossibly intricate filing system.

  1. Alsciaukat

Only has one joke in their book.

  1. Alsephina

Obsessive collector of a collectible card game.

  1. Alshain

Definitely not a body snatcher.

  1. Alshat

Firm believer in snake oil.

  1. Altair

Keeps trying to get spelling reform going.

  1. Altais

Hawaiian shirts; every day, year round.

  1. Altarf

Runs a troupe of dancing skeletons.

  1. Alterf

False teeth made out of ivory dominos.

  1. Aludra

Misspelled tattoo.

  1. Alula Australis

Blue hair, no explanation.

  1. Alula Borealis

Nitpicks plot holes in operas.

  1. Alya

Perpetually mourning unknown party.

  1. Alzirr

Rings made of moon rocks.

  1. Ancha

Choir of mounted, singing fish.

  1. Angetenar

Super-picky about aesthetics.

  1. Ankaa

Always sucking on a corn cob.

  1. Anser

Believes the government is run by lizardpeople.

  1. Antares

Perennial cubist.

  1. Arcturus

Bathes in yogurt.

  1. Arkab Posterior

Cannot stand the color blue.

  1. Arkab Prior

Lives on a creepy backwoods farm.

  1. Arneb

Fossil enthusiast.

  1. Ascella

Followed by an infestation of centipedes.

  1. Asellus Australis

Lived in a cave for five years.

  1. Asellus Borealis

Has no compunction about public shame.

  1. Asellus Primus

All-organic magic only, no gluten.

  1. Asellus Secundus

Turban the size of a large dog.

  1. Asellus Thertius

Scholar of antiquities.

  1. Asmidiske

Malapropic neologisms.

  1. Aspidiske

Ran ghost tours a few years back.

  1. Asterope

Has not slept in four years.

  1. Athebyne

Paragon of prep.

  1. Atik

God of goth.

  1. Atlas

Becomes dizzy easily.

  1. Atria

Lives in the vents.

  1. Avior

Haunted by a giant cockroach.

  1. Azelfafage

Makes narwhal cheese.

  1. Azha

Writes elaborate historical fanfiction.

  1. Barnard's Star

Has a witch’s nipple.

  1. Baten Kaitos

Prematurely old.

  1. Beemim

Insurance fraudster.

  1. Beid

Doesn’t look very wizardly.

  1. Bellatrix

Constantly popping mysterious pills.

  1. Betelgeuse

Picks compulsively at cuticles.

  1. Bharani

Snake cultist.

  1. Biham

Secret cookie dough stash.

  1. Botein

Bound feet.

  1. Brachium

Artificially shaped skull

  1. Canopus

Anti-undead apocalypse prepper

  1. Capella

Ex-vizier to a dark lord.

  1. Caph

Chain-smoker.

  1. Castor

Dry, flaky skin.

  1. Castula

Prominent incisors.

  1. Cebalrai

Loads of piercings.

  1. Celaeno

Smells like eggs.

  1. Cervantes

Mushrooms for hair.

  1. Chalawan

Chews betel leaf.

  1. Chamukuy

Naked mole rat exhibit in living room.

  1. Chara

Volunteer fireman.

  1. Chertan

Cares about century-old football stats.

  1. Copernicus

Absolute maniac of a drummer.

  1. Cor Caroli

Terrifying yodel.

  1. Cujam

Classical oboist.

  1. Cursa

Has a stuffed alligator in study/

  1. Dabih

Forked tongue.

  1. Dalim

Tiger-stripe tattoos.

  1. Deneb

Snail jouster.

  1. Deneb Algedi

Former priest.

  1. Denebola

Extremely cold hands.

  1. Diadem

Saffron venture capitalist.

  1. Diphda

Stigmata, origins unclear and obfuscated.

  1. Dschubba

Moss-green fingers from reagent stains.

  1. Dubhe

Role-plays a crazy old hermit in a swamp.

  1. Dziban

Impossibly bad dating luck.

  1. Edasich

Has gone through seven spouses.

  1. Electra

Entirely too many belts and pockets.

  1. Elnath

Permanently runny nose.

  1. Eltanin

Has a prize-winning pet pug.

  1. Enif

Puts mayonnaise on everything.

  1. Errai

Writes letters home to mother constantly.

  1. Fafnir

Never brushes teeth.

  1. Fang

Has never had hair cut.

  1. Fum al Samakah

Paints faces on rocks and keeps them as friends.

  1. Fomalhaut

Persistent case of bouncy leg.

  1. Fulu

Navigates via “port” and “starboard” on land.

  1. Furud

Just went out for some cigarettes...

  1. Fuyue

Proselytizes for Wizcoin.

  1. Gacrux

Snorts when laughing.

  1. Garnet Star

Creepy yellow teeth.

  1. Giausar

Fractals on clothes, all brightly colored.

  1. Gienah

Smells distressingly like roast turkey.

  1. Ginan

Cheerful phrenologist.

  1. Gomeisa

Loves clocks, can’t read them.

  1. Graffias

Has never eaten a vegetable.

  1. Grumium

Carries father’s organs in canopic jars.

  1. Hadar

A cowboy.

  1. Haedus

A pirate.

  1. Hamal

Recently started a new diet.

  1. Hassaleh

Plays a fiddle won from a crossroads stranger.

  1. Hatysa

Aesthetically-pleasing facial scar.

  1. Helvetios

Lives in a garbage dump.

  1. Heze

Wears an owl mask.

  1. Homam

Parkour enthusiast, but only for watching.

  1. Iklil

Entirely too many pineapples.

  1. Intercrus

Slick 3-D glasses, just because.

  1. Izar

Cuff-links and crown made of bismuth

  1. Jabbah

Keeps rifle above mantelpiece.

  1. Jishui

Pink hair.

  1. Kaffaljidhma

Constantly windswept hair.

  1. Kang

Luxurious mustache.

  1. Kaus Australis

Home-made ice-cream, all the time.

  1. Kaus Borealis

Checkers fiend.

  1. Kaus Media

Having paramour trouble.

  1. Keid

Hirsute to the extreme.

  1. Khambalia

Elephantiasis in the left leg.

  1. Kitalpha

Pet tapeworm.

  1. Kochab

Still wears a hat from the revolution.

  1. Kornephoros

Was down the river, won’t tell what was seen.

  1. Kraz

Still sleeps with security owlbear.

  1. Kuma

Lives atop a termite mound.

  1. Kurhah

Actually a tulpa.

  1. La Superba

Afraid of the number 11.

  1. Larawag

Actually a homunculus

  1. Lesath

From the future (lie).

  1. Libertas

From the future (truth).

  1. Lich

Chocolatier.

  1. Lilii Borea

Baby-faced.

  1. Maasym

Lucha mask.

  1. Mahasim

Eyepatch.

  1. Maia

Teepee hat.

  1. Marfark

Self-mummified.

  1. Marfik

Beekeeper.

  1. Markab

Heart on the wrong side.

  1. Markeb

Extra finger on each hand.

  1. Marsic

Tongue-louse.

  1. Matar

Cigar-chomper.

  1. Mebsuta

Pretending to be dead for tax reasons.

  1. Megrez

Papaya tree growing out of hat.

  1. Meissa

Demon-leather jacket.

  1. Mekbuda

Amateur paleontologist.

  1. Meleph

Lazy eye.

  1. Menkalinan

Ratty clothes.

  1. Menkar

Badger-stripe hair.

  1. Menkent

Built like a brick shithouse.

  1. Menkib

Terrible handwriting.

  1. Merak

Leaves ink stains everywhere.

  1. Merga

Trade guildsman.

  1. Meridiana

Nose ring.

  1. Merope

Shoes with bells on.

  1. Mesarthim

Brags about killing a windmill.

  1. Miaplacidus

Platypus mascot costume.

  1. Mimosa

Smoked some dank shit in college.

  1. Minchir

Macrophile.

  1. Minelauva

Loves house geckos.

  1. Mintaka

Catastrophic acne.

  1. Mira

Scraggly-ass beard.

  1. Mirach

Peacock-feather cape.

  1. Miram

Throat-singer.

  1. Mirfak

Available for birthday parties.

  1. Mirzam

Part of a barbershop quartet.

  1. Misam

Not actually a vampire.

  1. Mizar

Carves runs in everything.

  1. Mothallah

Compulsive hair plucker/

  1. Muliphein

Trains a flea circus.

  1. Muphrid

Dead parrot on shoulder.

  1. Muscida

Heirloom sword, doesn’t know how to use.

  1. Musica

Wears rings on every finger.

  1. Naos

Dull and crooked halo.

  1. Nashira

Underbite.

  1. Navi

Birds nest in hair.

  1. Nekkar

Incredibly spooky without trying.

  1. Nembus

Braided beard, down to ankles.

  1. Nihal

Used to be an undertaker.

  1. Nunki

Wears a carpet over their shoulders.

  1. Nusakan

Insists on proper fork placement.

  1. Ogma

Occasionally vomits eggs.

  1. Peacock

Ludicrous feathered boa.

  1. Phact

Causes statues to start crying.

  1. Phecda

Loves a good fry-up.

  1. Pherkad

Wears plaids and stripes together.

  1. Pipirima

Claims to be a god is disguise.

  1. Pleione

Bushy ear hair.

  1. Polaris

Has tinnitus.

  1. Polaris Australis

Carries around a mystery box, never opened.

  1. Polis

Carries around a jar of pickled eels.

  1. Pollux

Had tower stolen by bears.

  1. Porrima

Escaped from horrible abusive mother.

  1. Praecipua

Misplaced the keys to their tower.

  1. Prima Hyadum

Keeps hearing rats in the walls.

  1. Procyon

Definitely not a spy from a rival nation, nope.

  1. Propus

Luxurious lion-like mane.

  1. Proxima Centauri

Recent, disastrous political run.

  1. Ran

Unbeatable fighting spirit.

  1. Rana

Good personal hygiene.

  1. Rasalas

Synesthesia.

  1. Rasalgethi

Heavy perspirator.

  1. Rasalhague

Mountain climber.

  1. Rastaban

Twitchy eye.

  1. Regor

Overwhelming smell of pumpkin spice.

  1. Regulus

Still has milk teeth.

  1. Revati

Peg leg.

  1. Rigel

Alien abductee.

  1. Rigil Kentaurus

Does “crystal healing” for the gullible.

  1. Rotanev

Acts like billionaire playboy, not even close.

  1. Ruchbah

Extended earlobes.

  1. Rukbat

Lengthened neck.

  1. Sabik

Smells vaguely of salt.

  1. Saclateni

Crocodile tears.

  1. Sadachbia

Trained teeth-cleaner bird.

  1. Sadalbari

Heterochromia, blue / brown.

  1. Sadalmelik

Wears shorts in winter.

  1. Sadalsuud

Loves rainy days.

  1. Sadr

Wears pants on head.

  1. Saiph

Working on a novel.

  1. Salm

Reptilian being in a skinsuit.

  1. Sargas

Oversized ears.

  1. Sarin

Recent immigrant.

  1. Sarir 

Terrible miser.

  1. Sceptrum

Has a long-term pen-pal.

  1. Scheat

Bathysphere operator.

  1. Schedar

Whale watcher.

  1. Secunda Hyadum

Trade connections in Leng.

  1. Segin

Growing a snail shell.

  1. Seginus

Did 20 years in the oubliette.

  1. Sham

Red eyes.

  1. Shaula

Still uses slide rule.

  1. Sheliak

Chimera aficionado, goes to all the cons.

  1. Sheratan

Silk slippers with iron toes.

  1. Sirius

Vegan.

  1. Situla

Disconcerting taste for blood.

  1. Skat

Owns and plays a pipe organ.

  1. Spica

Has two shadows.

  1. Sualocin

Writes restaurant review column.

  1. Subra

Always has a flask of moonshine.

  1. Suhail

Definitely saw bigfoot.

  1. Sulafat

Taste for candied scorpion snacks.

  1. Syrma

Theological reformer.

  1. Tabit

Super-repressed puritan.

  1. Taiyangshou

Looks exactly like a notable personage.

  1. Taiyi

Park ranger.

  1. Talitha

Aviator sunglasses, even at night.

  1. Tania Australis

Kaleidoscope eyes.

  1. Tania Borealis

Fresh pine scent.

  1. Tarazed

New face paint every day.

  1. Taygeta

Fancy top hat.

  1. Tegmine

Embarrassing birthmark.

  1. Tejat

Nose bitten off by giant rat.

  1. Terebellum

Astronautic enthusiast.

  1. Thabit 

Unappreciated artist (and that’s a shame)

  1. Theemin

Unappreciated artist (for good reason)

  1. Thuban

Survival-situation cannibal.

  1. Tiaki

Cheshire grin.

  1. Tianguan

Former schoolteacher.

  1. Tianyi

Walrus mustache.

  1. Titawin

Prominent nosehair.

  1. Tonatiuh

Hoards leftover food.

  1. Torcular

Hermaphrodite.

  1. Tureis

Consorts with unsavory folk.

  1. Unukalhai

Pasta snob.

  1. Unurgunite

Not the sharpest bulb in the crayon drawer.

  1. Vega

Wrestled a crocodile once.

  1. Veritate

Orange sherbet hair.

  1. Vindemiatrix

Snaggleteeth.

  1. Wasat

Villainous goatee.

  1. Wazn

In real need of a nap.

  1. Wezen

Caffeine addict.

  1. Wurren

Can’t eat dairy.

  1. Xamidimura

Escaped a cult.

  1. Xuange

Does a mean Punch and Judy.

  1. Yed Posterior

Hopeless bureaucrat.

  1. Yed Prior

Hates crystals.

  1. Yildun

Loves crystals.

  1. Zaniah

Always has to knock on doors.

  1. Zaurak

Coonskin hat.

  1. Zavijava

Invisible hat.

  1. Zhang

Inverse hat.

  1. Zibal

Deals in counterfeit artifacts.

  1. Zosma

Is not actually a medical doctor.

  1. Zubenelgenubi

Played sportsball in college.

  1. Zubenelhakrabi

Always keeps their right hand covered.

  1. Zubeneschamali

Smells of petrichor.